Why knock the ice bucket challenge?

I needed to get some of these thoughts out of my head so this is what happens.  My thoughts are never very organized so these blogs suffer the same fate. 

ALS is a terrible disease.  I've heard many people say that they don't want to get really old, to the point where they can't take care of themselves, that they'd rather pass away before hitting that point.  Now imagine that happens to you before you turn 30, and at a rapid rate.  Not only can you not take care of yourself, you lose the ability to speak, to move, to do anything that you were just capable of doing a few months before, and currently there is no cure so you know that it will kill you (and typically sooner rather than later) I can't even imagine. 

There are many diseases and causes out there that we are unaware of.  Yes Lou Gehrig put a face and a name to this disease but many people still had no idea what it was...until now.  This ice bucket challenge that was sent into a whirlwind by Pete Frates (http://petefrates.com/ read his story) has brought awareness to a disease that is unknown by many.  It has also raised an unprecedented amount of money for an organization that is in place to help these individuals and their families who are hit with this diagnosis.  Wheelchairs are a necessity. Software to help individuals communicate is a necessity. Insane amount of health care is a necessity.  These things don't come cheap.  So far there has been over 31 million dollars in donations to the ALSA (there are other organizations out there who I am sure can add to that total).  Can you even process what that means to these families?  Have you ever been helped?  Have you ever felt like everyone finally could understand, maybe just a small fraction of what you are going through and was willing to do even one small thing to help?  Now multiply that by 30million... 

To say that the ice bucket challenge is doing nothing but wasting water is just an uninformed statement by someone who is apparently having a bad day.  We waste water EVERY day.  We shower for too long.  We flush every time we use the restroom.  We leave the water running while we brush our teeth.  We leave half empty water bottles unfinished on end tables (or maybe that's just my family). Have you ever taken part in a water balloon fight? Super soaker war? Slide down a slip and slide? Did you feel bad afterwards or tell everyone it was wasteful...yeah I didn't think so.  So what's your real issue here?  Every bucket dumped challenges at least 1 other person.  That is one more person to donate, one more person to learn about a disease, one more person to have a little fun.  Get over yourselves and just let it happen. 

It is a well known fact that Cancer has made it's mark on my family.  It doesn't define us, but it sure likes to hang around a lot.  Everyone knows what cancer is but it's still hard to get people to stay invested in our cause.  Not everyone has the heart and the passion that I do to raise awareness and funds for the American Cancer Society.  It is impossible to assume that the 637,527 NEW donors to the ALS Association are going to continue to do so for the remainder of their lives but does that take away from what they've already done?  Are the 5,10,100, 10,000 dollar donations they've made (thanks Charlie Sheen) somehow less meaningful to those who are receiving the donations?  I highly doubt it. 

So to those of you who are having a huge issue with what is going on, I challenge you to 1. get over yourself, it will fizzle out (sadly) and you'll go back to reading the typical daily facebook drama soon.  2. Find your passion, find your cause and do something about it.  Maybe change up the ice bucket challenge to fit where your heart lies and see if you can get people on board.  3. Quit fighting battles that aren't worth the fight.  Are you really asking people to stop the movement just because videos annoy you?  I question your motives. 

I am hoping to use this challenge myself as motivation to spread the wealth to some other unknown organizations.  Just because something hasn't directly effected me already doesn't mean it wont.  Matt didn't want to do the challenge.  His passions lie elsewhere, and then he was introduced with someone who has ALS the day after we talked about why he didn't want to do it.  Things change in an instant and some day if this happens to you or a family member or someone you know (my prayers are that it doesn't) your tune may change.  Act now. 

Why I Relay

Had a blog in the works in my mind for some time, and hoping now that I am trying to put it into actual words, they come out the way that I want them to.  Fair warning, when I am passionate about something and when I have so many emotions, they spill over into scattered word vomit so I apologize if this gets long winded and wordy (*which it kind of did*).  

My family has been a part of the Relay for Life for a very long time.  Fifteen years I believe.  I can honestly say that I hate the reason why we got involved, but I still wouldn't trade it for anything.  This is my attempt to share my passion and why I ask every year for donations, even if I don't expect them.  Over the years my "why I Relay" has changed a little but the foundation remains the same.  We need more survivors, more birthdays, and more celebrations.  

When I was 10 years old my mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.  I can remember the day my parents sat down and told us, not perfectly but that's because they told us everything was going to be okay.  They told us after they had a plan to make her better.  After a few varying opinions and some "quick to speak" words about how she probably wouldn't survive, they did surgery and chemotherapy and she was healed.  It was gone.  There one day, and a short while later no longer in her system.  Beautiful healing by God and medicine.  I am thankful every day that those people who spoke to soon were very wrong.  

The following year,  family friends lost their son to leukemia.  When I say family friends I mean friends that become family because that is just what happens in the military.  I was young, didn't understand my faith yet, so the questions of why God would let my mom survive a disease but a not a 5 year old weren't as prevalent in my mind, but it was still very hard to understand.  It did show me that cancer does not discriminate and it is not forgiving.  That same year my grandfather passed away from complications caused by Lung Cancer.  While I feel that every grandchild is supposed to lose their grandparents and not the other way around, it doesn't make it easier and it doesn't make it less painful.  I am forever grateful to have memories.  This was also my first memorable introduction to lung cancer, a disease I would come to hate more than anything I can think of.  

A few years after my mom was diagnosed, we moved to Texas from Boston.  That was the beginning of our Relay for Life journey.  We relayed for my mom, a survivor, one of the strongest women I know.  We relayed for those we had lost.  We were surrounded by people who had similar stories for one night of celebration and remembrance.  Throw in a little "There's a hole in the bucket" and you have yourself a party.  We always had a team in the following years, and no matter how large or small, we always tried to stay involved.  

Fast forward to 2012.  Matt and I were living in New Hampshire and I got one of the worst phone calls in my life (don't feel bad mom, you had to do it and I know you hated it).  My mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer.  To preface this I have to let you know what Lung Cancer meant to me at the time, death. 

Grandpa Boshart in 1996

Grandma Maynard in 2005

Grandma Boshart in 2010

The list actually goes on from learning that is how my mom's biological father passed away, to the great  aunts and uncles that also lost their battle to this disease.  No one that I could readily think of who had been diagnosed with lung cancer was still surviving it.  I will also let you know, all of these people smoked, and pretty much right up until the day they passed away.  It was all too common back then.  My mom however is not a smoker, she once was but if I could go back and give her an even bigger hug on the day that she gave up that habit, I would.  I don't know God's plans but what I know is healthy lungs will help you fight a battle that unhealthy lungs are not capable of, and my mom's lungs are healthy!  I was pissed off, heartbroken, and filled with fear.  I didn't understand why my mom, who has been through so much, had to endure yet another battle.  I didn't want to be halfway across the country when she had to start that battle.  I also feared the worst, because that is what I knew about lung cancer.  There was no "surgery - chemo - healed" plan that I longed for so badly.  It wasn't the same as when I was 10 and knew 100% that everything would be fine for as far as I could see into the future.  My faith allows me believe in miracles but at the same time, my life lets me in on the little secret that just because God can provide those miracles, doesn't mean it's mandatory of Him to do so.  We don't often see what His true plans are and may never see or understand why things happen the way they do.  Our idea of a miracle may not be the same as His.  So I was halfway across the country wanting to do anything I could to just get home.  

She gave herself a day or two to just "be."  To get out her feelings, and then she started the fight.  There was no way I could sit in fear and sorrow when she wouldn't even let herself do that.  We all had to join in the fight with her.  I had such wonderful support in New Hampshire, through my husband, his family that had become mine, and new friends that we had met, but I still longed to be in Texas.  Then this magical thing happened.  Our family was SHOWERED with love.  My mom's work family wrapped their arms around her in such a huge way that it was overwhelming.  They started "Team Boshart" and ordered shirts to wear every time she went in for a treatment.  They raised money by selling the shirts because when words fail and when you have no idea what you can do, that is the one thing that is easy and is something we can control.  I am not sure anyone was really expecting things to happen the way they did, but if you've met my mother, you would understand why.  She is a powerful force of love and upon meeting her just once you feel a sense of calm because that's what she does.  She is a provider in a way that I can only hope to be to my own children.  Everyone wanted to help.  HUNDREDS of people have bought shirts (sales have gone on for 2 years now and people are still asking for them).  People sent pictures in their "Team Boshart" shirts from all over the country and all over the globe.  I was able to rock my shirt in New Hampshire and feel like I was there, still a part of everything going on.  It was wonderful.   Matt and I did make our way back to Texas, and I honestly feel that it was God's plan more than my own.  I have been able to go to treatment with my mom, see in person that even with cancer she is a solid rock and is doing fine, and just be close.

Like I said, this has gone on for 2 years.  Every 3 weeks my mom goes in for treatment.  The treatments have varied from intense, long 8+ hour days that drained her energy (although you'd almost never notice) to quick 15 minute bags of drugs that allow her to walk out of there feeling just about the same as when she went in.  She has lost her hair and is currently growing it back in hopes of rocking a solid Jamie Lee Curtis look in the coming weeks/months.  This regiment will continue "indefinitely."  Hard drugs to zap the cancer cells in a hugely aggressive way, and when her body needs rest, lighter drugs to maintain a fight but not battle the rest of her body.  

Now here's the main point of all of this.  The term "indefinitely."  Not everyone surviving cancer, has treatment, goes into remission, stops treatment, survives.  Not everyone gets that "HURRAY THIS IS YOUR LAST TREATMENT DAY" so long from the nurses.  We've seen people who are awarded with that day in our travels to the clinic, it is often a bittersweet moment.  It is so very much worth celebrating but we also have to understand that it is not always the case.  THIS is why I fight.  Without funding people can't create new treatments.  Without new treatments, those who are on an "indefinite" regiment will get used to the old ones and maybe not be able to fight anymore.  The more research the more specific treatments become.  The more tailor made they are to each individual form of cancer.  My mom has gone through at least 4 different types of drugs.  Each doing their jobs of fighting in even the slightest of different ways.  I don't want her body to be able to get used to one type of drug and not have a "next plan."  Cancer evolves and so treatments need to do the same thing.  

Always through this I keep our family friend Danielle close to my heart.  She has been battling cancer for more years than one should have to, and I am thankful for each of those extra years, but I can't imagine how hard it is.  The constant surgeries, new treatments, experimental drugs, it's all hard.  Especially when you don't get to hear those sweet words "the cancer is gone."  Everyone who is fighting deserves to hear those words and my passion and my drive to raise money and help in the fight comes from that.  We need to get to a day where there are more survivors, and not those that are surviving while fighting every single day to get rid of a disease that unwelcomely invaded their body, but surviving and can say that the disease has been removed completely.  That is why I ask for donations, that is why I give, and that is what my heart's desire is.

So if you can donate, please do.  As a team this year we have set a goal of 10,000 dollars and we are well on our way to surpassing that goal.  My own personal fundraising goal is 1,000 dollars.  I hope to meet or exceed that goal but whether or not I do, just know that I appreciate every dollar that is raised in more ways than I can explain. 

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLCY14PL?px=5235299&pg=personal&fr_id=61128