Had a blog in the works in my mind for some time, and hoping
now that I am trying to put it into actual words, they come out the way that I
want them to. Fair warning, when I am
passionate about something and when I have so many emotions, they spill over into
scattered word vomit so I apologize if this gets long winded and wordy (*which it kind of did*).
My family has been a part of the Relay for Life for a very
long time. Fifteen years I believe. I can honestly say that I hate the reason why
we got involved, but I still wouldn't trade it for anything. This is my attempt to share my passion and
why I ask every year for donations, even if I don't expect them. Over the years my "why I Relay" has
changed a little but the foundation remains the same. We need more survivors, more birthdays, and
more celebrations.
When I was 10 years old my mom was diagnosed with Ovarian
Cancer. I can remember the day my
parents sat down and told us, not perfectly but that's because they told us
everything was going to be okay. They
told us after they had a plan to make her better. After a few varying opinions and some
"quick to speak" words about how she probably wouldn't survive, they
did surgery and chemotherapy and she was healed. It was gone.
There one day, and a short while later no longer in her system. Beautiful healing by God and medicine. I am thankful every day that those people who
spoke to soon were very wrong.
The following year, family friends lost their son to
leukemia. When I say family friends I
mean friends that become family because that is just what happens in the
military. I was young, didn't understand
my faith yet, so the questions of why God would let my mom survive a disease
but a not a 5 year old weren't as prevalent in my mind, but it was still very
hard to understand. It did show me that
cancer does not discriminate and it is not forgiving. That same year my grandfather passed away
from complications caused by Lung Cancer.
While I feel that every grandchild is supposed to lose their
grandparents and not the other way around, it doesn't make it easier and it
doesn't make it less painful. I am
forever grateful to have memories. This was
also my first memorable introduction to lung cancer, a disease I would come to
hate more than anything I can think of.
A few years after my mom was diagnosed, we moved to Texas
from Boston. That was the beginning of
our Relay for Life journey. We relayed
for my mom, a survivor, one of the strongest women I know. We relayed for those we had lost. We were surrounded by people who had similar
stories for one night of celebration and remembrance. Throw in a little "There's a hole in the
bucket" and you have yourself a party.
We always had a team in the following years, and no matter how large or
small, we always tried to stay involved.
Fast forward to 2012.
Matt and I were living in New Hampshire and I got one of the worst phone
calls in my life (don't feel bad mom, you had to do it and I know you hated
it). My mom was diagnosed with Lung
Cancer. To preface this I have to let
you know what Lung Cancer meant to me at the time, death.
Grandpa
Boshart in 1996
Grandma
Maynard in 2005
Grandma
Boshart in 2010
The list actually goes on from learning that is how my mom's
biological father passed away, to the great
aunts and uncles that also lost their battle to this disease. No one that I could readily think of who had
been diagnosed with lung cancer was still surviving it. I will also let you know, all of these people
smoked, and pretty much right up until the day they passed away. It was all too common back then. My mom however is not a smoker, she once was
but if I could go back and give her an even bigger hug on the day that she gave
up that habit, I would. I don't know
God's plans but what I know is healthy lungs will help you fight a battle that
unhealthy lungs are not capable of, and my mom's lungs are healthy! I was pissed off, heartbroken, and filled
with fear. I didn't understand why my
mom, who has been through so much, had to endure yet another battle. I didn't want to be halfway across the
country when she had to start that battle.
I also feared the worst, because that is what I knew about lung
cancer. There was no "surgery -
chemo - healed" plan that I longed for so badly. It wasn't the same as when I was 10 and knew
100% that everything would be fine for as far as I could see into the future. My faith allows me believe in miracles but at
the same time, my life lets me in on the little secret that just because God
can provide those miracles, doesn't mean it's mandatory of Him to do so. We don't often see what His true plans are and
may never see or understand why things happen the way they do. Our idea of a miracle may not be the same as
His. So I was halfway across the country
wanting to do anything I could to just get home.
She gave herself a day or two to just "be." To get out her feelings, and then she started
the fight. There was no way I could sit
in fear and sorrow when she wouldn't even let herself do that. We all had to join in the fight with
her. I had such wonderful support in New
Hampshire, through my husband, his family that had become mine, and new friends
that we had met, but I still longed to be in Texas. Then this magical thing happened. Our family was SHOWERED with love. My mom's work family wrapped their arms
around her in such a huge way that it was overwhelming. They started "Team Boshart" and
ordered shirts to wear every time she went in for a treatment. They raised money by selling the shirts
because when words fail and when you have no idea what you can do, that is the
one thing that is easy and is something we can control. I am not sure anyone was really expecting
things to happen the way they did, but if you've met my mother, you would
understand why. She is a powerful force
of love and upon meeting her just once you feel a sense of calm because that's
what she does. She is a provider in a
way that I can only hope to be to my own children. Everyone wanted to help. HUNDREDS of people have bought shirts (sales
have gone on for 2 years now and people are still asking for them). People sent pictures in their "Team
Boshart" shirts from all over the country and all over the globe. I was able to rock my shirt in New Hampshire
and feel like I was there, still a part of everything going on. It was wonderful. Matt and I did make our way back to Texas,
and I honestly feel that it was God's plan more than my own. I have been able to go to treatment with my
mom, see in person that even with cancer she is a solid rock and is doing fine,
and just be close.
Like I said, this has gone on for 2 years. Every 3 weeks my mom goes in for
treatment. The treatments have varied
from intense, long 8+ hour days that drained her energy (although you'd almost
never notice) to quick 15 minute bags of drugs that allow her to walk out of
there feeling just about the same as when she went in. She has lost her hair and is currently
growing it back in hopes of rocking a solid Jamie Lee Curtis look in the coming
weeks/months. This regiment will
continue "indefinitely." Hard
drugs to zap the cancer cells in a hugely aggressive way, and when her body
needs rest, lighter drugs to maintain a fight but not battle the rest of her
body.
Now here's the main point of all of this. The term "indefinitely." Not everyone surviving cancer, has treatment,
goes into remission, stops treatment, survives.
Not everyone gets that "HURRAY THIS IS YOUR LAST TREATMENT
DAY" so long from the nurses. We've
seen people who are awarded with that day in our travels to the clinic, it is
often a bittersweet moment. It is so
very much worth celebrating but we also have to understand that it is not
always the case. THIS is why I
fight. Without funding people can't
create new treatments. Without new
treatments, those who are on an "indefinite" regiment will get used
to the old ones and maybe not be able to fight anymore. The more research the more specific
treatments become. The more tailor made
they are to each individual form of cancer.
My mom has gone through at least 4 different types of drugs. Each doing their jobs of fighting in even the
slightest of different ways. I don't
want her body to be able to get used to one type of drug and not have a
"next plan." Cancer evolves
and so treatments need to do the same thing.
Always through this I keep our family friend Danielle close
to my heart. She has been battling
cancer for more years than one should have to, and I am thankful for each of
those extra years, but I can't imagine how hard it is. The constant surgeries, new treatments,
experimental drugs, it's all hard.
Especially when you don't get to hear those sweet words "the cancer
is gone." Everyone who is fighting
deserves to hear those words and my passion and my drive to raise money and
help in the fight comes from that. We
need to get to a day where there are more survivors, and not those that are
surviving while fighting every single day to get rid of a disease that
unwelcomely invaded their body, but surviving and can say that the disease has
been removed completely. That is why I
ask for donations, that is why I give, and that is what my heart's desire is.
So if you can donate, please do. As a team this year we have set a goal of
10,000 dollars and we are well on our way to surpassing that goal. My own personal fundraising goal is 1,000
dollars. I hope to meet or exceed that
goal but whether or not I do, just know that I appreciate every dollar that is
raised in more ways than I can explain.
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLCY14PL?px=5235299&pg=personal&fr_id=61128
